30 Days of Kink: Day 14

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink? If you haven’t experienced real life BDSM/kink how do you think it might differ?

Wait. You mean it’s not all about the naked slaves waiting on my every whim? Damnit.

In a real BDSM relationship I require my lovers to be someone I trust. I need to trust that they’ll not harm me, that they’ll listen to me if I tell them a tie is too tight or if I need to use my safeword, that they’ll use a condom if we are not fluid bonded. As sexy as the though of the tall, dark dom pushing you up against the bricks in the alleyway and having his way with you is, it’s something I would never be comfortable with unless I already a)knew him b) knew his STD status c) knew he would be using a condom unless we were fluid bonded and d) could be sure he’d not harm me.

Most of my kinky fantasy scenes don’t have things like safewords, trust, hell, most of them are lacking in consent. There’s also things that sound great while you’re two seconds away from a great orgasm that I would never do in real life. (I call those ‘lobster bisque moments’. As in ‘Oh gods, you want to dip my toes in lobster bisque then lick them clean? Yeah, baby. Oh gods, I want you so much!’)

Also, fantasies like being ravished, then bitten by a vampire? Hurt a fucking hell of a lot more in real life. Just sayin’. 😉

 

Review: Tantus Beginner’s Ball Gag-I can’t wait for you to shut me up!

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30 Days of Kink: Day 13

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you? Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?

The short version is really simple. I like poking at things that scare me, and I adore endorphins.

The longer version is far too long to explain in detail, so I’ll leave you with part of a post I made the other day on my journal.

There comes a point when pain turns into pleasure for me, and my skin lights up from within, nerve endings flashing gold and red. How being marked with teeth and nails and toys leaves me happy for days after at being able to see my lovers on my skin as I watch the cuts and bruises heal. Bruises become badges, a way of saying ‘Look. Look at me, at my strength. What I can endure, what I was given, and my delight in it.’. That the needles placed under the skin of my back transform into wings, and I fly higher than I ever have before.

That is why I am drawn to BDSM.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 12

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had. If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.

I was co-topping a sub with a male friend of mine, and we were both taking turns working her ass over with our hands and a few other toys. We’d check in periodically on her safeword, asking for what colour she was at (green=good yellow=take it down a notch red=stop). I apparently hit a lot ‘stingier’ that her Dom did, and after a few swats she called out ‘orange’. Wait, orange? Her Sir and I looked at each other and started giggling.
“Is that a cross between yellow and red?” he asked.
“Um…I forgot what colour meant what.” she replied, blushing.
“I think it means you think that Miss Pixel hits like a girl.” he grinned.

She squeaked and frantically started apologizing and insisting that it meant nothing of the sort. *grin* It was a fun scene all around.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 11

Day 11: What are your views on the ethics of kink?

I am pretty open minded when it comes to most things, so it should come as no surprise that my views on kink are pretty open minded as well. I play using RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink, vs the more common Safe, Sane and Consensual…as the majority of the things I do are definitely not safe or really sane. :P). If a relationship or a scene has all of those things I don’t feel that it is my place to judge as long as both participants are getting what they want out of it. Is your kink not my kink? That’s fine too. I may not enjoy doing some of the things you do, but I try really hard not to be judgmental about it.

As for whether or not kink is something that is morally right or wrong to engage in…screw that. In a healthy kink relationship, of course it’s morally right, just like another other gorram relationship. Power exchange and pain doesn’t change that.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 10

Day 10: What are your hard limits?

Right now my hard limits are:

No scat, beastiality, children, necrophilia.

My ‘softer’ (read as: possibly negotiable with the right person) hard limits are:
no blood, no wooden paddles/impact toys, no blindfolds, and no permanent marks.

Other kinks I will at least consider before deciding if they are a limit or not.

 

Review: Spartacus Wrist Restraints (locking)-Keep me locked away

This review has moved! Be sure to check it out on my new site, Pixelated Toys.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 9

Day 9: Post a kink related song or music video you enjoy.

I’m currently obsessing over S&M by Rihanna. *grin* You can play ‘Count the fetishes’ while watching too! I don’t recommend it as a drinking game though, you’ll get shitfaced far too quickly.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 8

Day 8: Post a kinky image you find erotic.

Just one? Pffft. Screw that, I’ve got a few that just…do it for me on so many levels. So you get all of them. *grin*

This is just gorgeous to me. The lighting, the way the shot is framed, and the rope marks. *purr* I adore it, because I’ve had those same marks left on my skin.

Somewhat stereotypical, I admit, but it still makes me happy in my pants.

This…makes me gushy. Because I adore this moment. My Sir, my Alpha, pinning me down, growling, his teeth at my throat. I know my place in that moment, and it is at his feet.

Gorgeous, gorgeous. I love all the contrasts in the pic. Her skin versus his, her being naked, him fully clothed…I could go on for far too long about this.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 7

Day 7: What’s your favorite toy?

I don’t even need to think about this one. The Hitachi Magic wand. It’s my go-to vibrator for a quickie, multiple orgasms, a bit of a boost when I’m trying to squirt, a fun (if bulky) addition to fucking with a partner. Also, if your partner is an evil bastard and enjoys making you come even *after* you think you’re going to die if you have another orgasm, yup, it’s good for that too.

Yay, Hitachi! lol.

Now, if you wanted to know about kinky toys…I’d have to defer. I’ve had so few impact toys used on me (belt, floggers, hands, various household items that have been perverted to kinky use), that I really don’t think I’m qualified to make a judgment call yet. But I do adore floggers and hands being used on me best so far. 🙂