Colours, aka synesthesia and kink

I adore sensation. I love textures, different types of pain, things that make me feel. I have a form of synesthesia, which for me is crossed wires in my brain that sometimes lets me ‘see’ some types of pain/pleasure as colours or really strong mental images. Sounds weird, but to me it’s awesome. When my synesthesia is tripped, everything has it’s own specific colour, and sometimes multiple shades and colours for one specific feeling.

To me, being flogged ‘looks’ like ripples of deep greens and blues. The first strike of a paddle on my ass is a deep blue/black, that fades out into lighter shades of blue/grey as the initial sting eases. Knives dragging against my flesh leave behind ribbons of bright arterial-blood-red, while needles placed under my skin bloom into flowers of deeper reds and golds. Rope digs into my skin in negative-images lines of peacock-green and gold, flashing bright behind my eyes. It pushes me down into subspace where there’s nothing but blackness and faint ripples of colours and sensations around the edges. Orgasms are bright flashes of white, mixed with jagged edges of primary red and blue and yellow.

Is it any wonder I’m a sensation slut?

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 29

Day 29: Do you have a BDSM title (e.g. mistress, master, slut, pig, whore, princess, goddess, ma’am, sir)? What is your opinion of the use of titles in general?

If I’m topping someone younger than me, I have them refer to me as ‘Miss’. If they’re older, I’m ‘Ma’am’. Because I am evil and like fucking with people’s heads.

Sir refers to me as his girl or his swan.

Titles in kink can be a good thing. My Laird calling me his girl makes me purr and melt a bit inside. For me, they help me get into the right headspace, be it as a top or bottom.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 28

Day 28: How do you dress for kink/BDSM play? What significance does your attire have to you?

What I wear during a scene tends to reflect my mood.

If I’m subbing, my outfit tends to be a bit on the slutty side and easy to take off.  😉  For example, the last play party I was at, I was wearing a short t-shirt dress and panties.  The dress barely covered my ass, and was super easy to strip off for play. I also usually have my hair in ponytails or braids, or have my kitty ears on.

When I top, I tend to wear things that cover a bit more, or, depending on the intensity of the scene, that I don’t mind getting dirty.  I’ve topped in everything from combat boots and BDUs to a corset and fishnet. My hair is usually in an updo or loose while I top.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 27

Day 27: Do your non-kink interests ever find their way into your kinky activities? If so, how?

Hrm. The only thing I’ve found that has really crossed over was that I had no interest in medical play in a kink sense until I started my paramedic training. I’ve found that I love needles and bloodplay, although the experience is different depending on if I am topping or bottoming. If I’m bottoming, I fly from them. If I’m topping and doing needleplay or anything involving blood, my brain goes into medic mode. Cold, methodical, running though all the possible issues I need to be aware of ‘just in case’.

I haven’t noticed any other things from my day to day life crossing into my kinky one though.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 26

Day 26: What’s your opinion on online BDSM play?

Ehhh. If we’re talking about online play, in which the people are IM-ing dirty stuff at each other, then I’m not a fan. It’s just mutual masturbation with a kinky bent to it. For kinky play to work for me, I need hands on my flesh, need to be able to see and hear and feel everything. Words on a screen just won’t cut it for me in this instance.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 25

Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?

I’m not in my professional life. Despite all the joking comments made in EMS and Fire about kinky stuff, most of my co-workers would not be ok with me being kinky to the extent I am, and them knowing could negatively effect my career. In my personal life, I’m very open about being kinky, maybe to make up for that. The only people who don’t know are my parents and older relatives at this point.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 24

Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?

I want partners who are honest, intelligent, trustworthy, honourable, and that I can laugh with. If I wouldn’t want to be friends with you outside of the bedroom, you aren’t going to be sleeping with me.

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 23

Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?

I’d say my interests have changed a lot, in that I’ve become a lot more open minded towards certain kinks and lifestyle choices. I went from being a ‘only a little bit of rough play’ kinkster, to someone who enjoys canes, flogging, and some forms of edge-play. I’m also a lot more willing to try a lot more kinks for my partners and they even sometimes become my own. 😉 Some of the kinks I currently have that I didn’t think I’d ever have been interested in are bloodplay and breathplay (which I am only comfortable exploring with my Laird). Baby!kinkster-me was so very innocent and vanilla!

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 22

Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?

Communication! Dear gods, communication. Your dom/sub/whatever can’t read your gorram mind! If you don’t like the way I am topping/bottoming, tell me flat out. Giving me subtle hints as to what you really want doesn’t work. I don’t do subtle! (And no, this doesn’t differ from a vanilla relationship)

 

30 Days of Kink: Day 21

Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)

I feel almost embarrassed to admit this, but I have never read any BDSM related books! I get my kinky writing fixes through fan fiction, and have since I first started reading erotica. I have specific writing styles I like, and it seems that most published ‘romance’ or erotica authors aren’t in the style. The closest I’ve come in fiction is the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon.