Day 25: How open are you about your kinks?
I’m not in my professional life. Despite all the joking comments made in EMS and Fire about kinky stuff, most of my co-workers would not be ok with me being kinky to the extent I am, and them knowing could negatively effect my career. In my personal life, I’m very open about being kinky, maybe to make up for that. The only people who don’t know are my parents and older relatives at this point.
Day 24: What qualities do you look for in a partner?
I want partners who are honest, intelligent, trustworthy, honourable, and that I can laugh with. If I wouldn’t want to be friends with you outside of the bedroom, you aren’t going to be sleeping with me.
Day 23: Since you first developed an interest in kink, have your interests/perspectives changed? How so?
I’d say my interests have changed a lot, in that I’ve become a lot more open minded towards certain kinks and lifestyle choices. I went from being a ‘only a little bit of rough play’ kinkster, to someone who enjoys canes, flogging, and some forms of edge-play. I’m also a lot more willing to try a lot more kinks for my partners and they even sometimes become my own. 😉 Some of the kinks I currently have that I didn’t think I’d ever have been interested in are bloodplay and breathplay (which I am only comfortable exploring with my Laird). Baby!kinkster-me was so very innocent and vanilla!
Day 22: What do you think is important in keeping a BDSM relationship healthy? How does it differ from a vanilla relationship?
Communication! Dear gods, communication. Your dom/sub/whatever can’t read your gorram mind! If you don’t like the way I am topping/bottoming, tell me flat out. Giving me subtle hints as to what you really want doesn’t work. I don’t do subtle! (And no, this doesn’t differ from a vanilla relationship)
Day 21: Favorite BDSM related book (fiction or non-fiction)
I feel almost embarrassed to admit this, but I have never read any BDSM related books! I get my kinky writing fixes through fan fiction, and have since I first started reading erotica. I have specific writing styles I like, and it seems that most published ‘romance’ or erotica authors aren’t in the style. The closest I’ve come in fiction is the Dark Hunter series by Sherrilyn Kenyon.
Day 20: Talk about something within kink/bdsm that you’re curious about/don’t understand.
Well, I’ve already chatted about kinks that I’m curious about, so now it’s time for something completely different /Monty Python
One of the kinks I’ve encountered that I don’t understand is Diaper fetishes. If that’s your thing, that’s cool, but I have no interest in it, and really don’t see the appeal. As a medic and an older sister/babysitter, I’ve cleaned up more than my fair share of urine and feces and there’s just nothing sexually appealing about it.
Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves? If so, what are they?
‘Dominates’ who think that they deserve my respect and submission just because they ID as a dominant male. Fuck. That. Shit. My respect is earned. My submission is something rarely given, and only to those I trust. I don’t understand how someone honestly thinks that a poorly written and arrogant message is enough to deserve either.
*breathes*
Ok, calming down now.
Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
Hrm. One of my pet peeves is the assumption that if you’re into kink, you *must* have been abused or are mentally, because no ‘normal’ person would like kinky sex. Riiiight. *rolls eyes* I know kinky people who have a history of mental illness or abuse, sure. But for them, they use BDSM as a way to deal with their issues, and it seems to help rather than hurt. I also know people who are ‘normal’ (no history of abuse, no mental health issues, nada) who love kink as well. Sometimes, you just need a spanking. 😉
Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
Probably the most difficult things having to keep it such a secret in my professional life and with certain family members. The medics and firefighters I work/hang out with may make a lot of jokes about stuff like tying someone down to the backboard or things like that, but they are definitely not ready to hear about the time Sir did play piercings on me, or how he will bite me to the point of breaking skin. They definitely don’t get to see the marks I’m left with. (I’m lucky that Sir is considerate, and makes sure that my skin stays ‘clean’ where my uniform doesn’t cover it.)
With family, I come from a very conservative, Irish-Catholic family. I’ve been told several times by my mother that I’m going to hell for having sex, and am not allowed to be alone with my baby sister because I’m bi and ‘that’s a bad influence on her’. If my parents knew about the sort of sex I liked having, I would probably be denied contact with my younger siblings. My brothers all know I’m kinky, though, and are totally ok with it. My sister is still a bit too young to be told that yet, though. I hope that when I do, she’ll react the same way the rest of my siblings have so far. 🙂
Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
Just one? That’s cruel and unusual. My list of kinks I’m interested in trying are currently: canes, chains, cupping, fire play, high protocol, interrogation, orgasm control, posture collars, pursuit, take-down & capture, sacred sexuality, sensory deprivation, violet wand, whips.
I guess of that list, the one I want to try the most is a pursuit, take down and capture scene. I want to be able to fight back, try my best to escape as Sir has his way with me. I want my clothes cut off (well, not my good ones. 😉 ), to be manhandled until he can get me restrained or pinned down, and made to submit because I don’t have a choice in it. *purrs* Sounds really good to me right now, actually.
Kitten's Toys 